they call it, tinnitus

tinnitus was it's name, not like an old western spoof, but the constant shrieking of banchees coming from the left (not politically, i hope) that even my precise mental control and concentration and focus does not always remove from consciousness, especially late at night or when the blood pressure rises like after meals...

distraction, though, when i really want quiet...

i miss silence...

suc suk fuc fuk cluc cluk

sex everywhere, nearly naked people smiling knowingly, you know, knowingly, and all the maturity is nothing but repression, righteous death of the senses, as if that's a good thing... maybe some delusion of a life after death in some skybox is enough for most everybody else (or so they've like us to believe, dumb hypocrits, as if they aren't naked in their lies), but i'll take the sex (but which scantilly clad nubile toned body is not just teasing, liars all) and sensory pleasure in this life cuz why else be alive... you don't want to enjoy the physical, just die and get wherever it is you think you're going...

stop being background noise in your own life...

tv

the tv is on again... i'm not sure how it happened, or when, even, the thing just plugged itself in and turned itself on... i think it even bought it's own antenna... oh, those tvs can be so tricky...

food

food is not a fair substitute for sharing, yet it has become the background noise calling my name in the silence simply because no one else does...

background people

when you stop sharing on a daily basis, you become the background noise of a personal life...

keeping busy

keeping busy is just another way to avoid feeling the loneliness of being without a true partner who shares everything with you in this life... and background noise just keeps you from hearing the silence...

environs

fans

light

eeeeeeeeee

heart

buzzzz

dreams

consistency

if i came here every day and wrote something meaningful, something profound, or even just something that i wanted to share, innocuous, personal, general, specific, serious, irreverence, nonsense, or whatever...

would it matter in the end if you missed an entry?