almost forgotten, almost ignored

almost... the ear rings... the neck aches... the foot healed... the arm hurts... the belly bloat comes and goes... the dog begs... the dog farts... the dog stares... and lots of catching up on daytime tv, ncis, castle, the mentalist, psych, dr. who (probably leaving some out) and nature and science shows... chilly temperatures... moved into a new place so the highway sounds are gone, a lot more birds in the morning, sweet natures sounds... bigger place, more comfortable space, we love it here... though clutter of boxes in the bedroom as the arm injury has delayed unpacking... all this background noise plays as i relax most days in a semi-retirement between jobs (not looking, but if the right job found me i'd probably go back to work)...

what's going on in your background noise?...

so many changes and yet

still, reading the last post while sitting here way too awake at this hour (glance at the time stamp) brings me to realize the only change from the previous entry is that my roommate is back (and her little dog too, ah, my pretty, cackle)... actually, there are some other major changes, but only partly... the ear rings, the clutter is even more cluttered, the pain in the neck comes and goes, and the loneliness is louder than every some nights (like tonight)... changes include a new bed... and a hurt foot... the bed, however, is still in it's plastic wrapper... has been long before the foot was injured, but now the foot is keeping me from doing anything so the procrastination has a fine actual physical excuse...

it's bullshit, of course, because i probably wouldn't have done anything if i could, but it's a true physical limitation... the noise remains... clutter and loneliness screaming the loudest, with the actual ear ringing and foot and neck almost as loud... bloat and fatigue smack me around physically as well... all in all, the self-destruction is quite effective...

so?