see previous entries

yes, tv, yes, tinnitus, yes, clutter, yes, sleeping on the couch, yes, pain in the neck, yes, missing company, yes, missing sharing, yes, talking to myself, yes, loneliness, yes, not much moved since the last entry... though tonight i spent a couple of hours moving stuff around... the stuff is screaming through the silence... or is that loneliness... tough to tell over the tinnitus...

no0ne

a typo creates the title that was meant to be none and yet, the zero turning none into no one is so much more poignant, perhaps... for i don't know what to do with the silence... i became so accustomed to having a roommate to look after, to take care of, a girl and her dog, that i don't know what to so with myself now... the tv is the background noise that keeps me from realizing how alone and silent the space has become... the couch is part bed... the space, still so full of her stuff, remains frozen in time... and the background noise that is missing is the loudest sound of all...

they call it, tinnitus

tinnitus was it's name, not like an old western spoof, but the constant shrieking of banchees coming from the left (not politically, i hope) that even my precise mental control and concentration and focus does not always remove from consciousness, especially late at night or when the blood pressure rises like after meals...

distraction, though, when i really want quiet...

i miss silence...

car troubles

the ear rings, but life goes on... and though the noise of the transmission and engine are not nearly as stressful and annoying as the noise of the lack of money cuz if money was no object the car would be replaced by a new car every year, but here, now, the car is old and needs major repair or replacing and with life events falling as they have in the last couple of years, giving more away than i have once again, adopting another who drained me of resources, the car is louder than ever and stress could keep me awake at nights...

or is that the sound of the highway calling again...

life is full of it

new spaces, having moved last week, and the background noises have changed... there's the relatively constant noise of passing cars and trucks as the expressway is just a hundred yards or so from where i sit, so that'll take a bit of getting used to... the place is a lot smaller, so the sounds are closer inside, whatever sounds there are (tv, pipes, cabinets, fridge, air conditioner, and so on)... tv has been more in the background than ever as interest has waned of late, the same old reruns and a few new shows but nothing grabbing me away from whatever else i am doing... and that's just the audible background noise...

work is a constant, almost nagging background noise lately more than ever as the workload just continues to increase while the me as a department of one remains the same... so dominant is the busy-ness of business (working) these days that it is popping up everywhere even in the ancillary blog like this one… that must be a sign of the dull-boy syndrome… i wonder if there is a there a dull-girl syndrome….