lost in the noise

everything that matters, meaning, why, lost in the noise of life, the background... this all might have been quite profound, revealing, even, had anyone notice or, had i, but the screaming easily drowned out the hope which turned the dream into a nightmare and who wants to return to nightmares, after all, given the choice... you did know there was always a choice, right?...

mind games

memories are the background noise of the mind, the distractions that play from within like the TV you aren't really listening to, but never seems to go off and then there are the fantasies, the desires and the dreams all becoming questions that tickle and haunt, sooth or grate, from soft down to sandpaper, the constant mind chatter provides a never ending stream of background noise from within... sometimes it might be a song, sometimes a story, sometimes just a glazed over stare into space... all the mind games played with or without our conscious awareness... background noise, mind games, forever...

silent music

so the joke was on me, but i still seem to have the last laugh because most of the time, nobody gets it… the blessing of such a sense of humor cannot be valued or expressed, but merely enjoyed and appreciated… someday i hope you understand, not me, but yourself… you can listen to the music (if only every song still played, but so it goes… and still i am the only one who knows)…

static

i believe in love, but i know that nobody cares today, not about me personally in the life i live, not the caring that is a verb… there is limited long distance caring, even from those who live around me, but no investment in the interactions, no compelling concern to help or take notice or truly know… it may be that the world was never meant for one who would die for love, but surely the intensity is not too much for everyone… i wander the streets, the social scenes, the private parties, the dinners and dances and movies and shows… face after face pass before my eyes and so rarely is there eye contact, so rarely is there a genuine smile of caring, no less an action… and perhaps this is the world as i have made it, but still, i believe in love… and i believe i am open to it, actually doing it, and hoping…

natural fool

the nature of a fool
is to live in distraction
like the old man living by the side of the road
with his whole life in his hands
the nature of the fool
is to live in illusion
like the one just sitting there watching the wheels
go round and round
(as if they'd do anything else)
the nature of the fool
is a turn on or a turn off
depending on how sensitive
or ignorant you are
the nature of the fool
is to live in pretention
like the wandering minstrel playing his songs for free
with belly full, but hungry

so play with yourself as long as you can
don't be afraid of your own love young man
and young girl please be everything you can be
don't let the world tell you that you're not free

the nature of the fool
is to live in exposure
as if naked is a costume that nobody dares to see
and the child laughs just to be
the nature of the fool
is to enjoy the nonsense
cuz it really doesn't matter when you're playing in disguise
so few really use their eyes

and it really doesn't matter if i'm wrong or right
but who ever finds out where they really belong
really now, really, is it all really alright?
of course it is, the fool has his, and he gives us this song

it is the nature of the fool
to see nothing is wrong
for there are no problems, only solutions
get with it now kids
it is the nature of the fool
to never really belong
no matter how much he may have wanted to once
when we were all kids

take care of each other as long as you can
as much as you can care and make it real
and learn from the fool if you cannot understand
he knows you may never know how much he can feel
how good it can feel
to live, to be, to love, to see
the magic moment shared
while everybody laughed or turned away
the fool only cared

your choice

before you get to thinking anything is real, you should take off your clothes and see if anyone laughs… if you hear silence, then nobody is paying any attention, so why bother, the illusion is nothing if not shared… the real is the moment you touch it, make it a shared experience, and invest yourself in the promise that is a connection… everything else is just background noise, distractions from the distractions of life…

television and lights

they almost never get turned off here... constant background noise... and disrespect for my wallet... or at least lack of concern and/or awareness... and of course the mess is everywhere, piles of dishes, filthy counters, garbage all over, piles of crap strewn willy nilly, all the more constant background noise and potential distraction... this is where i live... where i sleep... where i sometimes eat... where i bathe... where i keep my stuff... where i drown in background noise and distraction...